Lately I’ve been thinking about the nature of attraction in my dating and romantic life. I find that attraction in and of itself is only the first layer of a multi layered subject. It’s in that thought that I bring this to you… to make you think and to ask for your input as well.
Attraction is based on a lot of different factors for different people we meet. For some, it’s based in our childhood triggers that were originally set by our parents. However, for most it’s a complicated set of additional factors. We can be attracted to someone on a visceral level (the ‘hot guy’ or the ‘smokin hot woman’) that we just want to get naked with and ‘have fun’. Yet, we can also have our initial attraction based on a more intellectual level (‘you challenge my mind more than anyone ever has before’), or their personality (‘you are just so FUN to be around… I want to see you more’). Our attraction to someone can also be based on a more spiritual level (‘we both believe in the same things and can talk about them all so freely… it’s so RARE to meet someone like you’).
However, from my own experience, I have never been attracted to one simple aspect of anyone. With that said, I believe that it’s important for us to understand the nature of our attraction to someone to make sure that what we’re attracted to is an aspect that is deeper and meets our real needs as opposed to something that is more shallow… being something that may not be able to last.
Your thoughts and comments would be appreciated on this one. Am I totally off base here or does this ring true with many more of you?
Midlife Metamorphosis is a necessity to have as a reference! A reminder that love is not to be feared, but, to be given and received unconditionally with one another. I recommend this book to any one, any age, who has found love, lost it and has the courage to heal and love again. ~~Karen~~
I think that what attracts us to one person versus another changes as we become more mature. I know I personally don’t put a lot of value in another person’s looks. I have learned that as trust, intimacy, and the first steps of the bond we will have forever grows stronger, the person becomes more attractive everyday. On the other hand, if some is ugly on the inside it will show on the outside and it’s not easy to hide it. The old phrase “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” could not be more true as we grow into adults.