Dating in midlife opens up such a huge “Pandora’s Box” of events and emotions. While some are serious about finding a match, others want to play on the playground. So, for the serious ones, the players can often fly under their radar and strike their target long before anyone really knows what’s going on. It’s not an easy aspect of life at a time in life when what we want is for it to be easy… or at least a bit easier.
Yet, I can tell you that this doesn’t have to be as frightening as it at first seems to be. Read on through the blogs that I’ll continue to post and you’ll begin to understand that dating in midlife can be a very enriching and rewarding experience. In part, it depends on your attitude and approach. Yet it also depends on a certain amount of determination and willingness to accept yourself in your successes as well as your mistakes without passing judgment on yourself. Along the way you’ll also end up learning a lot more about how to read others. It may seem like a lot of work, but to finally gain the reward of love in your life it really is worth the effort.
I am 54 years old and I feel more alone than ever before in my entire life. I look at my friends, married, a house, almost ready to retire, waiting for grand children. They come together on holidays, share thanksgiving dinner with family and friends. I feel like an outsider. I don’t fit into their lives. I am single. Yes, I have 2 sons, 18 and 24, and they are my family,they are my life, they are all I’ve got here. But I crave for a man in my life that is there for me, loves me, cares for me, is my friend and partner. I want to wake up next to someone and feel warmth. Instead I have been seeing a married man for 9 years that has a life with someone else. How did I get here? At a time in my life where I want to “grow old” with someone, there is no one to grow old with. All the men that I meet are either married, separated, (what exactly does that mean?)either you are married or you aren’t!
You can’t have it both ways. The single ones are really mostly plain nuts. (ok, not all of them, but the once I met)
They are into sports cars, gyms, 6 packs, looking great, showing off, paying the field. I just recently learned what that means. As a single mom for the last 12 years I had to be strong, work hard and pay bills. No time or money to buy a house, go on vacations, travel the world.
I have walked in supermarkets after 5pm to meet singles, crazy. Maybe we are supposed to stay single at 54, and just use men for sex. But even that comes easier with batteries these days, as funny as that sounds.
This is my first visit to this website. Thank you Jim for inviting me to it. Can’t wait for your book to come out.
Ingrid